If I had my own way, I would probably be drinking a glass of wine by the fire tonight.......

"The mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it."
George Eliot

I had so little sleep the other night, that I couldn't come up with any well-chosen statements - I just demanded tea in bed as if it were my right, and the tone was grumpy, to say the least. But I did recover some equilibrium eventually and put things back in order the next day.

As for having our own way.......yip, I still do want to get this and it is taking some effort to change my ways on that. It is a strong impulse. And I usually do think I am right. Although I am quite good at apologising when I get it wrong - eventually. However, with practice, I think I could allow others to choose the way ahead. Sometimes.

It has been an interesting weekend, with an excellent lecture in Roybridge Hall on Friday night with mum, while Meg had a friend over and the boys went out to a cheese and wine and poker night. (wine for the big boys and poker for the small ones. I'm not sure if cheese actually was consumed, but I know the wine was.) The small boys had to escort Spook home and now I think I wont let Spook go out partying without Finn's support, and a bike helmet! I did point out to Finn that this was not a good example of how to conduct oneself, but Finn said he would rather stay sober and enjoy the spectacle than get very drunk and risk missing it.
The next day, Spooks punishment was to dress as Jimmy Saville and run all over hills and glens, filming a promotional DVD for The Outdoor Capital of the Uk. It involved a photo-opportunity with Sir Jimmy himself, and I'm not sure that I might have chosen Jimmy in preference to Spook - such was the state he (Spook) was in.
Sir Jimmy flirted with my Mum and it was a novelle way to spend a Saturday morning!!!
Today was pretty quiet for us, but bruising for Finn who played a game of rugby against Perth. Perth played very well, but the Lochaber boys worked very hard to hold them off - for a while.
The car has broken down again, so I will be cycling to work tonight, just as the rain has come back. This will be good training for me as I have become very lazy. And soft.

Honestly, it's my turn for tea in bed.

"Five factors of a well-spoken statement are: Spoken at the right time. spoken in truth. Spoken affectionately. Spoken beneficially. Spoken with a mind of good will."

I'm hoping that if I apply all these factors to a request for tea in bed tomorrow morning, even when it is my turn to make it, that I might be successful.

I didn't go for a run yesterday, so the training for the Duathlon still consists of one moonlit jog with Spook. I do need to make a little more effort at the weekend. I have a lot less time off just now, so if I don't manage a jog and a cycle on a weekend off, it will be very painful when the day arrives.

It was a beautiful day today and I had to drive up Loch Ness-side. The lochs were like glass and the roads quiet, so it was a very enjoyable part of the day. Spook drove down to Dunkeld as part of HIS working day, after a working stroll through Leanachan Forest, so he was feeling quite good with himself too. Both children are in very good form too - they just need to study the five factors of a good statement when communicating with each other and things will be very smooth!!!

Need Betta Metta.

"Very few people know the real meaning of friendship. More often than not, there is too much emphasis on sentiment, and too little on action. Metta is something that must be lived."
Sanharakshita (Peace is Fire.)

This was yesterdays quote and I didn't blog it as I had a large whisky with Spook to celebrate Burns Night and had to go to bed. I hadn't used the MP3 player the night before as I actually slept pretty well. However, one good nights sleep tends to negate a good one the next night, and that's what I was anticipating when I plugged the player into my ears. Spook fell asleep straight away and I drifted off gently after concentrating on the dulcette tones of the Guru. Every now and then I have a very brief, but frightening nightmare that someone has come into our room. As I wake up and open my eyes, I know I am about to be attacked and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. This often happens soon after I fall asleep and before Spook does, so he somehow manages to comfort me without freaking out himself.
However, he had fallen asleep before it happened this time, and when I screamed right in his ear, bringing him out of a very deep sleep, it was me who needed to comfort him, once I had got my own pounding heart under control. He lay in a state of shock for some time, and then neither of us could get to sleep for absolutely hours!!!! Then I felt that it was only fair that it should be me who dragged her sorry ass out of bed to make the morning coffee, seeing as how my sub-conscious had caused so much trouble last night.
My point behind this is that I think my Metta might be missing. I didn't know what it was, so I looked it up, and if I was practicing Metta, which means loving kindness, friendliness, benevolence, amity, friendship, good will, kindness, love, sympathy, close mental union, and an acitive interest in others - I should be sleepinng easily, waking easily and have no evil dreams. It can be an antidote to insomnia, nightmares and anger.
It would seem that going around being reasonably nice to everyone is not enough to save me. I need to make specific acts of friendship and then I might sleep better. And so might Spook. I mean, he doesn't even need to make the acts of kindness, just as long as I do it, those shadows will stop sneaking up on me, about 10 minutes after I fall asleep.
And it's 2.30pm and I haven't been kind to anyone yet! And if I step it up a bit, I should have improved concentration and a bright complexion. Well, I can't concentrate because I didn't sleep much, but I think I could improve my complexion if I stopped typing on this computer and went for a run.

Sweet dreams are made of micro-chips.

"Not being able to govern events, I govern myself"
Michel Montaigne

So, that's just that old thing about sorting yourself out and keeping things in perspective. Well, I did have an exceptionally busy day of having to think, on top of another sleep-deprived night - as Spook still couldn't get my meditation stuff onto the mp3 player - and I managed to keep from panicking about all the things I still need to do. Because if I just take things a step at a time, I will manage. I will be in control of myself, if not of events. Hopefully.

However, he has managed to get it on to the player tonight, so I have to try listening to it, instead of the incessant rantings of my 3am brain.
As my training is not going very well, I need him to find another mp3 player and put some upbeat stuff onto it, so that it will keep me running. Spooks life is not easy.

It is dark and rainy just now, but not cold, so we are already sweating upstairs in a well insulated house. How on earth do we manage in summer? Maybe the temperatures are not that different!

Earthquake like an illusion, but not a persistent one.

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one."
Albert Enstein

I'm 3 quotes down now as I was on sleepover on Friday, knackered last night and didn't understand todays quote which was about ironing and I don't know much about ironing. So I'll go with Alberts quote for today. I'll try to remember that reality is an illusion, when reality is looking a bit harsh. That might help.

The reality tonight is that I am still knackered but have enjoyed a busy weekend of work. The children have been really busy too, so it hasn't mattered that I have been working.
2 days of snowboarding for Finn, a party on Friday night for Meg, a new cleaning job for her on Saturday morning, the cake to frost and then the next party which continued on until Sunday night. So she certainly didn't notice I wasn't around, but I did stop work long enough to help her finish her cleaning work and frost the cake. Spook had a busy weekend of driving us all around and managed a cycle race and a training run. I have managed to eat a lot of crisps and chocolate, so training not going very well. The Ben Race entry forms came out last night and we got them in the post tonight in time for Mondays post. It will be a heavy post bag for oor Postie Jim. It is likely that all 500 entries will arrive on the same day. I wonder if it would have been worth a bag of sweets to have J put ours on the top of the pile. Naaaah. Incorruptible, that man!

The earth moved for Spook and I at 6.06 this morning. I hadn't realised he was awake when the rumble, shudder, rumble occured, but heard him mutter "earthquake" from the depths of the covers. 3.6 on the richter scale, I think. Not quite as dramatic as our 7.8 in NZ, but we were quite pleased to both have felt it. The children were disappointed to miss it, as it is quite a phenomenon, even when small.

There ARE a few people across the world we hold Dear.

"Casting our minds across the whole world, we find no one as distinctly dear as ourselves. Likewise, others hold dearly their own individual lives. Therefore, if we care for the distinct vales of our own life, we should not harm others, for they too feel the same."
The Buddha.

I decided to simply interpret this as - if everyone is simply nice to the people around us, and every one had that attitude accross the world, we'd be a lot better off. Because it hurts my brain to think any further about it. But I WAS nice to everyone around me, I think.

And I started my meagre training tonight. Neither Spook or I could be bothered to drive back into to town for the Athletic Clubs night run up to the Vitrified Fort, and he had been out for a tough hill run with a friend earlier, so we were both happy to take a moon-lit run along the canal for what was probably almost a 4 mile 'jog'. It was nice to chat and the canal was like glass.
Finn went to rugby training for the 2nd time this week, and Meg, with her new found confidence in the house, stayed at home to bake a cake for her friends birthday.
Finn has been asking for chicken Kiev all week and he finally got it tonight as I didn't have time to cook anything more healthy. And to prove the quote about satisfying one desire and replacing it very quickly with another, he said "When can we have waffles?"

A Confident Future? Or Never to go into the Forest Again?

"Every small, positive change we make in ourselves repays us in confidence in the future."
Alice Walker

I had a fantastic sleep last night. No thanks to my mp3 player. Spook didn't quite manage to load my new relaxation 'stuff' on to it, but I was so tired from too many nights of not sleeping that I didn't even hear him get up to make my morning tea. He says he's not going to load it up until I clear all the old tea cups, emery boards, bits and pieces of jewelry, tweezers(!) - must have been my chin hair getting in the way - books, magazines and emergency clothing I keep next to the bed in case I need to get up and fight off intruders in the middle of the night, out of the way. He says I will not be able to put ear phones into my ears quietly without catapulting items from my bedside onto his bedside. He does not think this will be conducive to a good nights sleep for himself.

Really, he just can't figure out how to put it on, and knows that I will take a long time to tidy up my act.

However, the small, positive change in myself today, was to not take every criticism, or anger directed around me, as a personal attack on myself. Maybe just every 2nd criticism or anger. That should ease things a little.

Oor Meg is afraid of the dark and has only just conquered her fear enough, to be first person downstairs in the morning, as she likes to have the place to herself, and doesn't like to talk or compromise for at least 30mins after rising. However, no matter how you try to announce your arrival, it is very difficult not to scare the bejesus out of her and make her even more........unlikely to compromise. Her father decided to cure this fear. He insisted she go night-riding in Leanachan Forest with him tonight. They headed off to Nevis Range with the bikes in the car and lights on their bikes. If there was anyone else in the forest tonight, they will have been petrified by the sounds of her blood-curdling screams as she chased after him, with the awful sounds of wind, the burn, creaking trees; the sight of dead bodies (tree branches on the ground), moonlit-created shadows of horror in every direction and the pounding of her own heart waking the spirits. Her father was very proud of her. She came home and declared the house a safe zone, and went to bed early, exhausted.

Be life...right, ok, be life. ok - I'll give it a shot. Yip.

"Enter in. Be one with the object of contemplation if you wish to understand. Don't be an outside observer of life. Be life."
T'ao Shan

And as I was away from home last night and couldn't blog, I'll just have to refer to yesterdays quote which was something to do with being courteous and obliging, without letting people walk over you - I think. I was courteous and obliging all day and only one person had a wee go, without actually putting a foot print on me.

OOOh, it's all catching up with me. Firstly, definately feeling early pressure from simply changing my role at work - a small move, but I feel a little exposed. However, I have not to be an observer of life, so I better get on with it and as I have made my wee pledge to enjoy each day, no matter the challenges, I had better stick to it. As for the pledge to not have to pay Finn £51.50, I do need to practice a bit of running. There is a night run up to the Vitrified Fort on Thursday, so I may as well start there. Nobody goes too fast in the dark, so will get me started, but not leave me too far behind.

My darling Guru sent me a link to download some relaxing yogic 'stuff' to calm my mid-night chattering brain, so Spook has got it onto the mp3, which will be lined up next to the bed, ready to stick in my ears with minimum fuss. If it is a little too loud, I'm sure the chanting or what ever it is, will only have a positive effect on him as it leaks over to his side of the bed. At least, I hope so.

My desire not to pay out the cash, is steadfast!

"The happiness that you feel when you satisfy a desire is not due to the satisfaction of the desire but to the momentary cessation of the desire. But the desire returns. Therefore desires can never be satisfied: they can only be overcome, abandoned."

Right. This must mean teenage girls and shopping. I overcame and abandoned that desire quite a long time ago.

It was a very wet and cold, windy day today and I bribed my son to do the winter league race for his age group. He was very amenable as he wanted something for £8.50 and this way he got it but kept the money in his pocket. I felt it was worth it as he is quite good at running but really can't be bothered. I hoped that the endorphins would get him out to do the next one. He found the race hard but enjoyed it (Munro blood) and didn't rule out another race, even though no money will be forthcoming the next time. He wasn't impressed that I didnt' do it, and couldn't work out how to make me do it without having to dole out some cash himself. I suggested he do it another way. He make me pay him, if I DIDN'T do it. So he wants something off the internet for £51.50. There is absolultely no way I am paying for it, so I have to do the next Duathlon in Arisaig on the 19th of February or pay up. Fair enough.....I'll do it!

His dad had a pretty good race himself - it was just the girls in the family that didn't break into a sweat today, but that is about to change.

And for the competitors today - it was about keeping the feet moving forwards......

"The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving."
Oliver Wendell Holmes.

This was an excellent quote to share with my brother as he contemplated today's duathlon in the torrential rain which we were staring at forlornly out the kitchen window. I already knew that I would be moving in the direction of the cafe in Ballachulish - by now, AFTER the event and not before as we were already a little sluggish, but as he is not accustomed to running, and there were two running stages in this event, his day was a little more daunting. After some thought, he comforted himself that his general direction would be forward, and that he just had to nip down to Glencoe, progress through the event, stage by stage and then jump into the car and head south to the party in Glasgow that he was REALLY looking forward to.
This went very well and he took 10 minutes off his practice time, coming in 27th out of more than 60 competitors. He sat in his car and got half changed, and then stepped out the car to speak to someone, shut the door (with all possessions including wallet and car keys inside) and heard the locking system kick in with a 'thwump!' He has a very nice, leased Saab. A very nice, malfunctioning Saab. The Saab lady on the end of the rescue phone line, said that she needed a payment over the phone before she could send someone out. The fact that he couldn't get his wallet which was locked in his car, meant that she couldn't send help - sorry. He did give a very convincing tale of woe, about being in the middle of nowhere, just off a mountain and very wet, with only a friend and his mobile, and being close to perishing. But no, if he couldn't make the advance payment of £120 she wasn't sending help.
Thankfully his tale of woe was only to test her level of compassion and not quite true, as I drove him to the nearest garage, where a very capable man came and opened the door for £60 and then drove off saying "nip in and pay the fee when you're ready."
So my brother continued on his forward journey, having actually been very calm and upbeat about where he was, but always clear in his own mind that he would still get to where wanted to be. I hope he doesn't have too sore a head tomorrow. Well done, Bro.

When I close my eyes, I just fall asleep.

"ONe cannot be what one should be, merely by closing ones eyes to what one is."
Sangarakshita (peace is fire)

Eh.....I think that might mean that you can't solve the problem until you have worked out what it is. Something like that.

Well, there wasn't much time to eat lunch or drink coffee today, never mind close ones eyes to what one should be. I left work feeling like I had a pile of things I had needed to achieve, but needed the lift that was proffered and had people coming to dinner. I had made lasagne in the morning before work + a vegertarian one for Meg, Finn and Mum. It was a good move to not have to come home and cook.
Spook did have a busy day getting things in place for the duathlon tomorrow. It was great that he took Mum with him to help mark out the course, and great that she bought him lunch. She is planning morning coffee in there tomorrow so that we feel strong enough to marshall and we have to recover there afterwards. So it shouldn't be too hard a day, compared with some of last years 12hr days. I like Mum's priorities!

DEAD BY MIDNIGHT - OMG!!!!!!!!!!

"Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if he or she were going to be dead by midnight. extend to them all the care, kindness, and understanding you can muster, and do so with no thought of any rewards. Your life will never be the same again."
Og Mondino.

Ah. This one was a bit of a worry as if I thought the people I was meeting today were going to be dead by midnight, I would burst into tears and hug them. This would have probably had me put on indefinate sick leave, until I had sorted out whatever was wrong with me.
So I just conducted my day in a freindly and supportive manner. It hasn't changed my life, but generally being positive, is becoming a habit, and helps with things I have encountered so far, that might have caused me a little stress normally. I have definately enjoyed each day a lot more.

I had an unusually standard 9 to 5pm day and came home to dinner cooked for me. Which was good as I spent the rest of the evening baking a cake with my daughter. It was not a 'chuck it all in together' cake, so took a while, and then we made merangues with the egg whites. The first tray turned out like giant, blackened dog turds, but the 2nd tray were rescued in time.

Mum is staying for a few days and spent the day alone, and much of th evening, due to the baking fest. But she has been reading and writing and very self-contained.

Children Waiting for more Snow and School Closures.

"The faults of others are easily seen; ones own faults are seen with difficulty."

Or as Robert Burns would say "who wa'd the giftie gie us, tae see oorselfs as ithers see us?" or something like that.

Anyway, I was having a great day at work and not looking for anyone elses faults. It really was a lovely day's work and then was so good to come home and have tea with the family. We have not been good at that for the last few months and we are now at least getting better at being civil round the table, when we actually get around it.

The big black dogs are still with us and it has been practically 2 months now, that we have had them. Thankfully, their trial owners really do want them back, now that their holiday is over. We will be pleased that they have not gone far, but are far enough not to raid our cupboards, or poo in the yard. I have a very lot of poo to clean up as I haven't done it the whole time they have been here.

Watched too much tv, but enjoyed Secret Millionaire and the lady who put huge amounts of money into projects and then went back to continue her involvement. Very uplifting. Then Hugh's big Fish Fight which was very shocking about the fish that has to be thrown, dead, over the side of the fishing boats to not over do their quota's. Hope Hugh is able to make a difference and the programme certainly was putting over a powerful message.

Meg was drawing in her new book from Mel and did some really lovely work. Finn came downstairs, disciplining himself on the xbox and made a very good attempt at a foot massage. Meg had a shot and I think that bread making is more her forte!!

Take heed - that Spooky's a Star.

"One should pay no heed to the faults of others, what they have done or not done. Rather should one consider the things that one has oneself done and not done."

I got up to the toilet at 3am and the rain was banging on the velux window. Most of the snow had gone.
Meg got up at 7am and could hardly contain herself as the snow was lying thickly and still falling. It took until 8am to be sure the school was closed and then a flurry of phone calls to arrange transport (us).
Our car has been behaving badly all year so far, with Spook doing regular check-ups and re-newing bits and pieces - to the cost of £200 so far, and a lot of effort. Yesterday, it seemed like it was all fixed. The day before, pushing it to jump start it, had put a smile on a truculent teenagers face, turning it in to one of triumphant excitement as it fired into life.
This morning, it fired up first time and Spook was jubilant. "Boy have I fixed this car!" he bellowed. As it conked out and wouldn't even offer a splutter.
Two very silent children sat stunned, as children dotted along the defunct school route, waited for a lift to the slopes. It all seemed to hang on Spooks ability to solve the seemingly impossible. New arrangements were made and the children were relieved to know they would still get boarding. But Spook never waivered in his determination to solve the daily problem of the car. The falling snow turned to sleet, but still he soldiered on and hey ho, it came back to life in time to drive me to work and he has every confidence the last hurdle has been jumped. I don't care about the faults of anyone else, but the things my husband can do to keep this family on the road, never cease to amaze me.

Rainbow colours in the snow.

"Look at that rainbow. It is only when the sky cries that you see the clours in the light."
Tao Shan

It was a beautiful day today - no crying in the sky. The rest of the family went snowboarding while I enjoyed the Sunday paper before going to work. They had a fantastic time, wheeching about the mountain in their gangs of boys and girls. Spook didn't get invited to join them, but crossed thier paths a few times. He said you could hear the girls before you saw them. Chattering amongst themselves all the time.
Sadly, it was raining by the time I got home and despite the children having scoured every weather website, all but one promising snow, the prospect of a school closure for the first day after the holidays, looked slim. Still, plans were made with friends and clothes were to be chosen (school or snowboarding) only at the last minute, after the morning weather reports.

What lies within, is too many Roses Chocolates, right now.

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters to what lies within us."
Oliver Wendell Holmes

Oh well, that's fine, because the inner peace is working quite well just now. I had a long day off, by getting up at a reasonable time, taking a pile of kids up to the ski slopes and leaving them there, remembering on my way in to town that what lies before me is a 6hr driving day on Monday and that I better hire a car and go to the library and borrow a talking book. I took out 'Single to Paris' by Alexander Fullerton - never heard of it, but it is set during the resistance in the 2nd World War and that does lie behind us, though we certainly haven't learnt how to avoid war. I've never borrowed a talking book behind, but reckon it will be a great way to pass a journey. Will see how that goes.
I did the shopping for the week, came home and had coffee with Spook and then lunch with Steve and his wee daughter Talia, made the dinner + soup for tomorrows lunch, laid the fire, and the day seemed to go on and on, as did the evening when there seemed plenty of time. We ate a rare meal together and watched TV all night, which included a beautiful wee Maori film, quarter of a James Bond, some Friends (still makes me laugh) and Derren Brown. Spook and I were too sleepy to manage much else, but it was nice to all be in the same room and found lot's to talk about around what we were watching.

Bhudda Joins the Workforce.

"The present is the only time that any of us have to be alive: to know anything, to percieve, to learn, to act, to change, to heal."
Jon Kabat-Zinn

Well, I probably didn't make the most of this by not getting out of my bed until almost 10am. But I did sit up in bed and enjoy the view of a white Ben Nevis, before reading a chapter of my book, which is educational, so that's ok.
I got some sad news from a friend, but know that looking forward is the best thing to do there, and the most help I can give is by doing that.
I had a busy day at work and had to giggle when I noticed a very solid looking Bhudda has appeared where the Christmas tree was. I'm not quite sure where this came from, but I hope he stays with us for a while.

I got a good Portion of a Good Man.

"The best portion of good man's life: his little, nameless, un-remembered acts of kindness and of love."

William Wordsworth.

Spook had to phone this one in to my work as I was on a sleep-over last night - where I worked hard and didn't upset anyone to the best of my knowledge.

Spook and I gave it some thought and decided we must have done a lot of little acts of kindness that we don't remember as we are still happily together. He certainly picked my up from work, drove me home and fed me soup and fresh bread, before leaving me in peace and quiet to watch a re-run of the bear documentary which was fab and then to lie on the couch, read my book and doze, while he went back to work and picked Finn up from his days snowboarding.
We can't remember my little acts of kindness, but that doesn't matter.

Intended to go for a run today, bake a cake, wash my hair, write lot's of nice emails.........................

"And what friend, is right intention?"

Oh dearie me - this one was definately written for me. Going about the place upsetting people whilst thinking I had the right intention (to make things right.) How many times do I say to the children "it's not a joke if the other person doesn't think it's funny?"
Likewise, if I say something to someone, with the intention of helping, but it only upsets them, then it doesn't matter my intention - if it upsets, it upsets. That's the thing I need to acknowledge.

But happily, I have not upset anyone today, though I haven't actually left the house yet. I had a lovely chat on the phone with my best friend, coffee with my sister, cleaned up the cat poo from under Finn's bed, swept and washed the floors to purge them of at least SOME of the dog hairs and managed to support the children to not cause another world war over whether to join the bottom of the world to the top of the world. The building of the world was suffering a little from lack of parental guidance.

I'm going to work soon, with the intention of working hard, and not upsetting anyone. Let's hope my intention becomes the reality by the time I get home after midday tomorrow.

The Crystal has taken on the Colours of The World.

"A crystal takes on the colour of the cloth upon which it is placed, whether white, yellow, red or black. Likewise, if the company that you keep is good or bad, it will make a huge difference to the direction your life and practice take."
Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.

Well, that is really one for the children, as I think I must have hung out with some good people as I am happy with my direction........my practice has improved of late too.

I worked a long day today, which I enjoyed, but was tired when I got home. Spook had made the tea and the children had been taking it easy all day so were wanting to do something together in the evening. Thankfully, they settled on the world globe puzzle we bought them for Christmas, so we all had a really productive and friendly, non-competitive attempt at putting it together. Meg was embroiled in Antartica and a lot of sea, while Finn got tangled up in the Arctic, Russia, Canada, Northern Scandinavia, and I got completely lost in Africa. Spook hung out in Southern America for a while, and we all met up at different places. It was very absorbing and educational as we discovered where the Kara Sea is, the Anderson Islands, and the Sea of Khotsk. Most unusual, was the total lack of fighting!

Then we took a break to watch the Bear Family and Me, filmed by a man from Mull, who is married to a friends cousin. Great stuff.

Nae Spark in wur Plugs.

"As the fletcher straightens the arrow, so the man of understanding makes straight the trembling unsteady mind, which is difficult to guard (and) difficult to restrain."
The Bhudda

Ah well, I worked hard to straighten my unsteady mind at Braehead today as my daughter and I attempted some sales shopping. But she became unwell, and after an early start of 8.15am and a 2.5hr journey to get there in decent time, she had to bail out after midday. We got back to the car to head for my sisters to recuperate, and it wouldn't start - not a peep. I was just phoning the AA, when the engine next to us fired up and I saw a family tucking their kids into the car. I couldn't believe our luck and we got jump started within 5 minutes. I do feel that my steady mind, which I had restrained from a hissy fit at the lack of spark in our plugs led to some good Karma.

My brother-in-law put the battery on charge, while my daughter's batteries were replenished by some pancakes and cousin contact. We drove up the road through some pretty heavy snow on Rannoch Moor and played a great game of eye spy, which had to be inventive, as we couldn't see very much.

It was a precious day, despite the lack of purchases, but we made a promise to try again in February, with a new battery and a new quote.

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.

"We see things not as they are, but as we are."
Immanuel Kant.

And so when I woke up this morning at 9am, having gone to bed at 2am after much dancing and a tad too much whisky, and the quote was difficult to focus on, even after a cup of tea, I went back to bed until midday, and resurfaced when everything had become less fuzzy.

We had a really good time at the dance. It was the 20th anniversary since we came out with our relationship and had our first public kiss at this New Year dance. Still sweet!

I like to think that Spook will look at me with so much love that he will see the 26yr old girl there beside him, and not the 46yr old, ill-slept and over socialized, smudgy-eyed wifie.

Flat Battery and Scorched Lungs.

"The truth does not scorch you nearly as fiercely as the suffering you bring upon yourself when you ignore the truth"

Bed at 3am this morning, and up at 8.30am to make coffee and pick up today's quote (that's 2 days in a row so not my turn to make coffee tomorrow, though that is not sounding very compassionate.)

'Don't stick your head in the sand' springs to mind with that advice. That may be why we were pushing the car to start it this morning, on our way to the uphill race at Nevis Range. Slightly scorched by not facing the fact that we need a new battery as well as the alternator we just bought, but less scorched than we would be financially if we didn't wait until pay day, as we do live on a hill and we got help at the race to jump start us on the way home. We have a lift to the dance tonight, so as pay day creeps closer, we should manage to get to where we need to, with a bit of jiggery pokkery.

I was also a little scorched around the lungs after the effort to get up the Downhill Cycle Track as fast as possible with so little training - a reminder, that if I manage to get a Ben Race entry this year, I will need to stop running on borrowed time.

I applied my calm mind to gazing at my husband to try and clear his furrowed brow while he brushed his teeth this morning. I'm not sure why it was furrowed - lack of sleep and a race ahead perhaps. This only served to deepen the lines, but entertained me no end and I had a fit of the giggles. I suppose if my new found approach to life keeps me happy, the rest of the family MAY benefit, if it doesn't drive them demented first.