Need Betta Metta.

"Very few people know the real meaning of friendship. More often than not, there is too much emphasis on sentiment, and too little on action. Metta is something that must be lived."
Sanharakshita (Peace is Fire.)

This was yesterdays quote and I didn't blog it as I had a large whisky with Spook to celebrate Burns Night and had to go to bed. I hadn't used the MP3 player the night before as I actually slept pretty well. However, one good nights sleep tends to negate a good one the next night, and that's what I was anticipating when I plugged the player into my ears. Spook fell asleep straight away and I drifted off gently after concentrating on the dulcette tones of the Guru. Every now and then I have a very brief, but frightening nightmare that someone has come into our room. As I wake up and open my eyes, I know I am about to be attacked and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. This often happens soon after I fall asleep and before Spook does, so he somehow manages to comfort me without freaking out himself.
However, he had fallen asleep before it happened this time, and when I screamed right in his ear, bringing him out of a very deep sleep, it was me who needed to comfort him, once I had got my own pounding heart under control. He lay in a state of shock for some time, and then neither of us could get to sleep for absolutely hours!!!! Then I felt that it was only fair that it should be me who dragged her sorry ass out of bed to make the morning coffee, seeing as how my sub-conscious had caused so much trouble last night.
My point behind this is that I think my Metta might be missing. I didn't know what it was, so I looked it up, and if I was practicing Metta, which means loving kindness, friendliness, benevolence, amity, friendship, good will, kindness, love, sympathy, close mental union, and an acitive interest in others - I should be sleepinng easily, waking easily and have no evil dreams. It can be an antidote to insomnia, nightmares and anger.
It would seem that going around being reasonably nice to everyone is not enough to save me. I need to make specific acts of friendship and then I might sleep better. And so might Spook. I mean, he doesn't even need to make the acts of kindness, just as long as I do it, those shadows will stop sneaking up on me, about 10 minutes after I fall asleep.
And it's 2.30pm and I haven't been kind to anyone yet! And if I step it up a bit, I should have improved concentration and a bright complexion. Well, I can't concentrate because I didn't sleep much, but I think I could improve my complexion if I stopped typing on this computer and went for a run.